INTRODUCTION THE VOICES OF CHILDREN

THE SITUATION OF CHILDREN AND WOMEN IN INDONESIA 2000-2010 342 THE SITUATION OF CHILDREN AND WOMEN IN INDONESIA 2000-2010 343 4.6.3.1 Understanding Siti’s story In Siti’s journey of adolescence, she has not only faced extraordinary events, she has been influenced by adults in both positive and negative ways. The adult world has provided her with resources that shape her life and her values, but it has not defined or limited those values. From understanding Siti’s story it is evident that young people - even when cast out of a stable world into chaos - find their own solutions and are capable of shaping their own moral learning. She actively shapes her own value system and often has to manage high levels of complexity - sometimes getting it right, sometimes not. For example: • Siti learned rapidly to manage unpredictable relationships with family both grandmothers sought to exploit her financially - but also cared for her. The relationship between herself as a rights-holder, and her grandparents as duty-bearers was confused. She was left to resolve the confusion - and did so by staying away from the home. • At certain points in her life Siti conducted experiments - sometimes accepting the results smoking cigarettes, robbing other kids, other times rejecting the results payment for sex. What adults easily label as ‘problems’ e.g., smoking, stealing, violence, the young person often sees as either solutions e.g., cigarettes help to relieve stress or learning encounters e.g., experimenting with marijuana. • Young people can sometimes show greater wisdom and understanding than the adults close to them. When her teacher slapped her Siti slapped her back - asserting her maturity and independence - but she also asked the teacher why she had done what she did. Similarly, she continues to live with her grandmothers even though they control her and her inheritance unfairly, recognising that this is still preferable to living in an orphanage. • Siti learned through practical experience how material values and morality interact in complex ways. Her grandmothers wanted control of her inheritance in exchange for caring for her; her conflict with the teacher was resolved by paying a fine. • Young people are known to construct their own informal decision-making communities - irrespective of what schools and family offer them. Here it is evident that Siti is doing just that. Her decision-making community includes Mary and other friends, her grandmothers, and even the memory of her mother, which gives her the moral strength to persevere. What is evident in the case of Siti is more complex than behavioural changes of an average child over time; it is also the development of a value system that underpins these behaviours. Box 4.6.2: Joko Joko is eight years old and the only son of a couple who are traditional wedding-dress makers and farmers in Central Java. He is in Year 3 of primary school and enjoys going to school by bicycle, playing and helping his parents do domestic chores. In the mornings, he prepares for school, takes a bath, eats his breakfast and helps his mother with the housework. On returning from school, he eats and takes a nap if he is tired. After that, Joko said that he helps his mother to wash dishes and sometimes helps his father washing motorcycles and bicycles. He takes a rest while watching television in the afternoons, enjoying cartoon programmes like Tom and Jerry, Upin and Ipin, and Tarzan. At 4 p.m., he feeds the domestic chickens. Later, he takes another bath and studies for a while until finally he goes to sleep at 8 p.m. with his mother. By the time he was in Year 3 of primary school, he says he was able to do his own laundry. When he was in Year 2 of primary school, he was already playing at the river with his friends, Yudi and Wahyu. He swims naked in the river so as not to get his clothes wet, as one time when they got wet his mum hit him with a wooden stick, and he then had to wash his clothes by himself. Sometimes he does the housework without being asked. Sometimes when he is asked, he says he is not available, and runs outside to play if his mum tries to smack him. Joko sometimes tends the ire for cooking. Sometimes his mother does. Joko sleeps with his mother in the bedroom and asks her to massage him if he gets tired, which she does, Joko says because she loves him. His father, he says, also loves him because he gives him pocket money IDR 5,000, and never hits him. According to Joko, his relationship with his parents is quite good. Joko feels closer to his father than his mother. Joko wants to be loved and never to be hit again. However, he feels that his mother gives him the most attention. Joko says he uses IDR 1,500 every day from his pocket money to buy ice. He saves the rest, and sometimes even asks for money from his grandparents. Joko’s hobby is football, and he plays with friends from 3-4 p.m. He loves rearing domestic chickens and attending cock ights with his friends. He has two chickens, and one that died. Sometimes he used to throw stones at them. Living in a village, Joko rarely goes to big cities like Solo, Semarang or Jakarta. “I love travelling by train, though, and looking at the scenery,” he said. When asked about school, Joko says he has to work harder to achieve irst rank. The hardest lesson for him at school is Maths and Islam studies because he doesn’t understand how to do them. Joko doesn’t like to study at the Quran Education Centre. His mother sometimes threatens him that he won’t get his pocket money if he doesn’t go, but Joko has decided not to attend anymore. “I don’t care if I don’t have the pocket money as long as I don’t have to go, I can’t. The Arabic letters are so hard”, he said, so he has dropped out and prefers to study the Quran at home with his father. Joko is often annoyed by his friend, Zaenal, who hides Joko’s books so he can cheat and copy Joko’s homework. “I was really angry, I wanted to beat him. It’s bad to hit people though, it’s cruel. So I chose peace,” he said. Joko wants to buy a mobile phone, has saved IDR 350,000, but some of his money has been spent on buying an iron and helping his mum with costs to renovate their home, he explained. He is very keen to give his mum money up to IDR 750,000 to help her do the renovations and has promised to mop the loor if they have two stories. He also wants to buy a car, a television and a mobile phone with a camera. His father is not a smoker, but Joko often sees his friends smoke. Joko understands that smoking can cause heart disease and lung disease. He doesn’t smoke because he doesn’t want to get sick. Also, he has seen people drunk in the neighbourhood, and tells of how neighbours have stolen televisions and been caught and beaten by the neighbours who caught them. Source: Child interview conducted by PSKK, UGM in Central Java, 2009; Joko is not his real name