Jake looks at the clouds
6. Jake raises
an eyebrow,… Jake mengangkat
alisnya…
The first case of the inaccuracy in translating singular forms into plural is
seen in the above sentence. The readers can see that in the source text, the author writes raising an eyebrow to describe that Jake is having many questions in his
mind. While in the translated text, the translator writes mengangkat alisnya. It is different because in the culture of Indonesian people, raising two eyebrows means
that someone is agreeing about something, since alis is considered as plural noun in Indonesian language. The meaning change in both texts above is the main
reason that the target text is given a 3. The best translation is Jake mengangkat sebelah alisnya menandakan
perasaan bingung .
12. Is that a knife in one of his hands?
Pisaukah di tangannya itu?
The case is similar to the previous case. The translation of one of his hands
into di tangannya can create a difference. In the phrase one of his hands, the author means to say that the man is holding a knife, possibly in his right hand or
left hand. Since Indonesian people consider hand as a plural noun, the meaning di tangannya
can be that the man is holding a knife with his two hands. Considering that pegang in Indonesian language can mean holding something with one hand,
to avoid ambiguity and score 2 for the target text, the translation is better corrected into Pisaukah yang dia pegang?
18. But he can’t, especially as the feeling grows more powerful
with every step he takes deeper into the circle.
Tetapi Jake tak bisa lagi mengabaikan sensasi aneh yang semakin kuat saat ia
semakin masuk ke dalam lingkaran.
By comparing the source text and the target text, it can be traced that a
different atmosphere has arisen. The clause with every step he takes in the source text means that Jake has felt the uncomforting sensation at the first time he enters
the room, and he feels it stronger every time he takes a step deeper into the circle stone. The atmosphere goes weaker when the clause is translated into saat ia
semakin masuk because the clause means that Jake feels the sensation after some
steps closer to the circle stone. In other word, the use of the adverbial time saat describes that Jake does not really feel the sensation when entering the room and
he feels it when he gets closer to the circle stone. These differences motivate the text to get a 3 for the judgement.
In order to keep the similar atmosphere in both stories, the best translation for the sentence above is Tetapi Jake tidak bisa lagi mengabaikan sensasi aneh
yang semakin kuat setiap kali ia melangkah semakin masuk ke dalam lingkaran. 20. She reaches out to touch the
Heart stone , mumbles something
Jake can’t hear Hannah berusaha menyentuh The
Heart Stone sambil menggumamkan
kata-kata yang tak bisa didengar Jake.
There are two problems that arise in translating the source text above. The
first problem is the wrong translation of the verb reaches out into berusaha. The word berusaha in Indonesian language means that trying to do something. It is
very different with what is written in the source text. The verb reaches out actually means that someone is stretching out his hand or arm to touch something.