somewhere in the garden and it is hardly seen from every side of the house. The better translation will be seluruh kamar tidur.
The second problem lies on the addition of the information. The inappropriate addition is Bangku yang didudukinya terletak agak tersembunyi di
belakang . Considering the previous information that Jake is sitting on a bench in
his back garden and reading his comic, the addition is actually unimportant. It will be best if the translated version is rewritten into Bangku tersebut hampir tidak
terlihat dari seluruh kamar tidur dan jendela dapur pondok .
7. ‘We’re going to see the stones,
Jake,’ she says. ‘The magic stones.’
‘Kita akan melihat batu, Kak,’ katanya. ‘Batu ajaib.’
The word the stones above are translated inaccurately into batu which
means that the score 3 is given. In meaning, surely it rises a difference. The word the stones
means that there are many stones in the place where Jake and his family will visit. If it is translated into batu, it seems that there is only one stone and it is
magical, then the story will not be interesting and horror anymore. The best translation of the word the stones are batu-batu since the sentence is said by a
little girl. A score 2 is given for judging the translation below. The inaccuracy is
when translating a subtitle, the translator treats a similar way as translating the story.
8. Human Sacrifices Korban Manusia
The problem above is the inaccurate translation of the word Sacrifices into
Korban. If it is translated into singular noun, it seems that the human that is
sacrificed is only one. This can rise a different atmosphere toward its original story. Moreover, this is a special case because the phrase Human Sacrifices is the
subtitle of the story of Deadly Game. To make the story being more striking and horror, it is better to translate the phrase Human Sacrifices into Korban-korban
Manusia .
9. Then he sees that the stones are
fenced off, and realizes that to reach them you have to pass
through the Visitor Centre, which seems very busy.
Ternyata lokasi batu melingkar berpagar tinggi. Untuk mencapainya
mereka harus lewat Pusat Informasi Wisata, yang saat itu tampak sesak.
The translated sentence above is given 4 because it is absolutely different
from the original text. From the first sentence, it can be seen that the translator has different perspective with the author. First is the inaccurate translation of the
stones into lokasi batu melingkar. If the translator chooses to say location, it
means that the parking area and the information centre are also fenced off. It is much better to say keep translating the stones into batu-batu tersebut.
The second case is seen from the translation of them and you into –nya and mereka
. It is obviously seen that the pronoun them is referring to the phrase the stones
, in which the pronoun them is better changed into ke sana since it can represent the area of the stones. Also, the personal pronoun you is referring to the
readers. When the translator writes you into mereka, he excludes the readers from the story in which the author wants to make the readers get included in the story.
The best solution to reconstruct the sentence above is Kemudian dia melihat bahwa batu-batu tersebut dipagar tinggi dan untuk mencapai ke sana
kamu harus melewati Pusat Informasi Wisata yang saat itu tampak sesak .
10. There are no inner walls Tak ada
dinding penyekat di
dalamnya. Since the case above is only the inaccurate translation of English plural
form walls, the score 2 is suitable. In the original story, the author means to say that there is a big hall with no walls to separate the hall into many small rooms. In
the translated version, the translator means that there is a big hall without a wall to separate the hall into two smaller rooms. Again, there is a different perspective
between the author and the translator. To make it similar, it will be best to translate the sentence above into Tidak ada dinding-dinding penyekat di
dalamnya .
11. …, and
red arrows pointed on the floor show you which way to
go.
Tanda panah berwarna merah yang ada di lantai menunjukkan arah ke
mana mereka harus pergi.
The wrong translation of plural form into singular lies on the phrase red
arrows and it is better to score it a 2 because there are two problems that are
resulted. In the translated story, the phrase red arrows is translated shortly into tanda panah berwarna merah
. Considering that in the original story the author says that there is more than one arrow and that the readers have the knowledge
about colours, it is best to translate the phrase into panah-panah merah. Again, the problem of excluding the readers from the story arises in the
translated story. The pronoun you is translated into mereka. To avoid this exclusion, it is much better to change the pronoun and translate the sentence
above into panah-panah merah yang ada di lantai menandakan arah yang harus kamu lewati
. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
13. The displays had explained that
the circle was probably some kind of temple, a place where people
had gathered to watch priests performing rituals.
Gambar itu menunjukkan bahwa lingkaran tersebut seperti semacam
kuil, tempat orang-orang berkumpul untuk menyaksikan pendeta
melakukan suatu ritual.
The translation of the words the displays, priests, and rituals which are
made singular nouns and the noun people which is made singular are the reason why the target text above is given a 3. The inaccuracy translation is very
significant in the interpretation. When the translator employs the word gambar for displays
, pendeta for priests and suatu ritual for rituals, it makes the story less striking because if these words are in singular forms, it seems that the activity and
the objects are ordinary one. It is better to translate them according to their plural forms: gambar-gambar for the displays, para pendeta for priests and ritual-ritual
for rituals. For the word gambar-gambar, it is better if translated into gambar- gambar yang ada di ruang pameran tadi
. It is considered from the plot that before entering the computer terminals, Jake sees the exhibits and displays first. For the
noun people, it is better to say orang since in Indonesian language, orang can represent a plural meaning.
14. They must have gone in for
human sacrifices too…
Mereka pasti menjadikan manusia sebagai korban persembahan...
The case above is similar to the case of the translation Human Sacrifices
into Korban Manusia. The difference lies on the sentence structure in the target text. In this case, the translator still translates the plural noun sacrifices into its
singular form in different structure. Other mistake that the translator does is deleting the word too which makes the story become less scary. In conclusion, the
