The displays had explained that
interpret the meaning batu yang lebih kecil as one single stone with small size, then it will erase the existence of inner ring because the ring itself will not exist
since it is made of a small stone. Meaning to say, the best translation of the sentence above is Jake melihat
bahwa di dalam lingkaran tersebut terdapat lingkaran lagi yang tersusun dari batu-batu yang lebih kecil
. 19. “No,
thanks,” he says. “I don’t play stupid baby games.”
”Tidak” jawab Jake. ”Aku tidak mau bermain permainan tolol seperti
itu”
The inaccurate translation of the phrase stupid baby games into permainan
tolol seperti itu has affected the original story, especially to Jake’s characteristic.
In the source text, it is clearly seen that the author chooses to use plural noun games
to describe that Jake really hates his sister and he does not want to be very intimate with her. On the contrary, in the target text, the translator chooses to
translate the noun into singular form. As the effect, the readers can interpret that Jake does not want to play hide and seek with Hannah, he possibly wants to play
another game with her. Also, the deletion of the word thanks in the target text has lessened the
tough characteristic of Jake. The word thanks above can emphasize that Jake really does not want to play anything with Hannah and he really means it. If it is
deleted as in the target text, the readers can imagine that Jake is surprised when his mom asks him to play hide and seek with Hannah and he directly refuses it.
That is why the score 4 is suitable for the Indonesian version. PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI
To strengthen the characteristic of Jake, it is better to change the sentence into “Tidak, terima kasih” jawab Jake. “Aku tidak mau main permainan-
permainan bayi konyol” 23. …;
perhaps
the flashes and rumbles are more bombs going
off;..
…; mungkin gemuruh dan cahaya putih itu adalah bom-bom yang
dijatuhkan;…
The inaccuracy in the sentence above is the phrase the flashes and rumbles
into gemuruh dan cahaya and it is given a 2. Considering that the author described the flashes and rumbles as the representation of war, the translated
version gemuruh dan cahaya is inaccurate because the atmosphere is becoming nothing. In war, usually the situation is very destructive by the bombs, which are
not only making explosion, but also sounds and lights. To support the idea of war, it is best to say mungkin suara-suara gemuruh dan kilat-kilat putih tersebut
adalah bom-bom yang dijatuhkan .
24. He tries not to think about it, or
look at the displays he passes.
Jake mencoba untuk tidak memikirkannya, tidak juga menengok
foto di ruang pamer yang dilewatinya.
The translation of the word displays into foto is inaccurate because it is
translated into singular form and the meaning is changed. The content of the source text above is not conveyed accurately which means that the score is 3. It
can be seen from the addition of the adverbial place di ruang pamer which causes a mistake. In the original story, the displays appear through the computer screens
in the computer terminal. Moreover, the existence of the displays is at the computer terminal, not at the exhibition room, considering that Jake at that
moment is in the computer terminal that he sees the displays. Also, when it is PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI