18 In Dictionary of Indonesian Languange 2001:885, style means
pattern, model, system, the way of working, structure which remains. Meanwhile, parenting means to keep to care and educate the
children, to guide to help, to train and so on and to lead Yasyin 1995:26. Meanwhile, according to Sugihartono, et.al. 2007:31
parenting style is attitude style used to build relation with the children. According to the suggestions can be concluded that parenting
style is a way used by the parents in interacting with the children whether to educate or guide which is aimed to stimulate the children
by changing the attitude and the knowledge of values which is considered as the most appropriate by the parents for the development
of emotional, cognitive, motivation of the children. Thus, children’s good personality, emotional and motivation would build the effective
learning attitude, so that the children would reach satisfying learning achievement at school.
b. Types of Parenting Style
Parenting style is varied, so that one family would be different with others. According to Sugihartono, et.al. 2007:31 there are three
kinds of parenting styles namely authoritarian, authoritative and permissive.
1 Authoritarian Parenting Style
Authoritarian parenting style is a kind of parenting that insists on parents’ supervision to children to make them obey or adherent.
19 In this case, the parents tend to be
firm and constrain the children’s will. Parents are the ones who make decision. Parents are rarely
involving children in making decision related to the children whether in education or not. Meanwhile, the parents prefer to give
punishment to the children if they are mistaken. It would cause the children to be less initiative, tend to be doubtful, and easy nervous.
Because of getting punishment very often, the children become less discipline, rebellious and naughty.
According to Yatim and Irwanto 1991:100 the characteristic of parents with authoritarian parenting are as follows.
1. Orang tua suka menghukum anak apabila melakukan kesalahan.
2. Orang tua kurang memberikan kasih sayang. 3. Orang tua sangat berkuasa atas pengambilan
keputusan. 4. Semua perintah orang tua harus dituruti oleh anak.
5. Tidak ada toleransi dan cenderung kaku. 6. Kontrol terhadap perilaku anak sangat ketat
7. Suka mendikte. 8. Anak tidak diizinkan mengeluarkan pendapat.
9. Pelit pujian. 10. Banyak sekali membuat larangan.
2 Permissive Parenting Style
“A parenting technique in which parent is very lenient and non directive, letting child make most decisions independent of any
adult intervention. Little or no parent – child discussion occurs.”
Brockdorf, 1990: 4. Based on the opinion, it can be concluded that the permissive parenting means giving the whole freedom to the
children without any control or with little control from the parents.
20 The parents do not give any rule and direction to the children of
what is going to be their decision. In this case, the children will not know whether their attitude
or decision is right or wrong, because the parents never or rarely justify or blame them. This cause the children behave as they like,
not even concern with the rules in the society. The children, with permissive parenting, will behave aggressively, get difficulty in
working together, be less responsibility and have less stable emotions.
The characteristic of parents with permissive parenting style according to Yatim and Irwanto 1991:102 are as follows.
1. Orang tua memberikan kebebasan penuh. 2. Orang tua tidak pernah memberikan hukuman kepada
anak apabila melakukan kesalahan. 3. Kurangnya kontrol dan bimbingan yang dilakukan
orang tua terhadap anak. 4. Anak banyak mengambil keputusan sendiri tanpa
orang tua. 5. Orang tua cenderung kurang tegas.
6. Orang tua hanya sebagai pemberi fasilitas. 7. Kurangnya komunikasi yang dilakukan dari orang tua
kepada anak 8. Orang tua tidak peduli dengan perilaku anak.
3 Authoritative Parenting Style
Authoritative parenting style is usually called democracy parenting style. This parenting style is characterized by the presence
of open-minded attitude carried between the children and the parents. The rights and obligations of the children are equal, parents
and the children complementary, children are trained to be
21 responsible and determine their attitude to be discipline. Children
are also given the freedom in delivering their opinions, feelings and desires. The children also learn to respond to the opinion of others.
Children can develop control over their behavior with the things accepted by the society. The creativity capacity or the children will
develop well because the parents stimulate them to be able to be initiative.
According to
Yatim and
Irwanto 1991:101,
the characteristics of parents with the authoritative parenting style are
as follows. 1. Orang tua suka mengajak anak dalam diskusi
pengambilan keputusan. 2. Orang tua mendengarkan keluhan anaknya.
3. Orang tua memberikan tanggapan. 4. Orang tua menghargai pendapat anak.
5. Tidak kaku
c. The Importance of Parenting Style
