That they would criticize us for not caring or not loving. e. That the others will be angry.

Robert Elias Najemy - 95 - Remove Pain – Physical and Emotional painful surgical operation for both of you, in which deep false beliefs are being removed. Also we want to avoid using these concepts as an excuse to ignore actual responsibilities that we may have in our family or professional life. When employing EFT for getting free from Codependency, we may need to deal with the following: 1. When seeking to be less dependent we might fear: a. That others may not love us or pay attention to us if we are not dependent on them. b. That this change would be misinterpreted as indifference or lack of love. c. That the others would feel hurt.

d. That they would criticize us for not caring or not loving. e. That the others will be angry.

f. That we will not know what to do if we were not occupied with this problem. g. That we could not make it without the other’s support in this matter. h. Other? ____________________________ 2. When working on freeing ourselves from feeling responsible for the others’ reality. Health, happiness, satisfaction, success etc. We might feel fear: a. That it would be misinterpreted as indifference or lack of love. b. That the others would feel hurt. c. That they would criticize us for not caring or not loving. d. That the others would not be able to manage without us. e. That the others will be angry. f. That we would not know what to do if we were not occupied with their needs and problems. g. We would not be good persons mothers, fathers, children, siblings, friends. h. That something bad might happen to the others. i. Other? ____________________________ Robert Elias Najemy - 96 - Remove Pain – Physical and Emotional Chapter Nineteen EFT Dealing With “Victims” Freeing ourselves from the power games described in the “Celestine Prophecy” Introduction This is an introduction to this and the next three chapters, where we will discuss how to employ EFT for dealing more effectively and lovingly with those who play the roles of the Victim, Aloof, Interrogator and Intimidator. Having grown up in unique environments, experiencing different messages about ourselves, others and life, each of us has developed a personality with specific and unique needs, desires, beliefs, habits, attachments and roles which we play. Many of our behaviors are defense mechanisms, or ways of thinking and acting, which we hope will protect us from various, mostly imagined, dangers. Some people have “introverted” defense mechanisms, which cause them to retreat into themselves, or into some kind of non-inclusive activity, when they are not feeling safe. Others become aggressive, antagonistic or competitive. These various ways in which we have been programmed to react to situations, especially those which threaten us, make up, to a great extent, the basic fabric of our interpersonal conflicts. Such automatic defensive reactions create conflict with others, especially if our methods of “coping” clash with their needs. When we free ourselves from these mechanical reactions, and act consciously and lovingly, we will have much greater chances of harmony and real communication. The best seller “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield has successfully presented a simplified grouping of these coping mechanisms into four roles. Let us take a brief look at these roles, which we and our loved ones might get locked into as we battle for energy, self- affirmation, security and control. We must keep in mind that most of us play all of these roles to some degree. We might play the “victim” with one person and the “intimidator” with another. Or we might be both the interrogator and victim with the same person. Also, our relationship partners, loved ones, friends and coworkers will embody a combination of these roles. Possible Interactions We and our loved ones may play a combination of these roles in our attempts to get what we need from others. In general, we play these roles in order:

1. To protect our energy and gain more energy from others if we can.