Our need to play our familiar emotional relationship games may conflict with our One part of us wants to face and overcome our fears and blockages while another prefers to

Robert Elias Najemy - 128 - Remove Pain – Physical and Emotional

17. Our need to express our feelings as they are may conflict with our need not to hurt

anyone.

18. Our need to express our real feelings and thoughts might clash with our need to have the

others’ acceptance.

19. Our need to follow a spiritual guide might conflict with our need to rebel against all types of

advice or control.

20. O u r need to control persons and situations in order to feel secure may conflict with

our need to let things flow and allow others to act freely.

21. Our need never to show weakness may conflict with our need to share our weaknesses

with others or seek their help.

22. Our desire not to ask anything from others may conflict with our need to have their help and

support.

23. O u r need for a stable routine for our balance and growth may conflict with our need for

variety and change.

24. Our need to play our familiar emotional relationship games may conflict with our

desire to free ourselves from them.

25. One part of us wants to face and overcome our fears and blockages while another prefers to

avoid and ignore them. There are certainly conflicts that we haven’t mentioned but most will fall into these categories. How these Personas are Created Our various emotional survival mechanisms can lead to the development of diverse personas or sub-personalities within our personality structure we are not talking here about clinical illness such as multiple personality syndrome. In response to early childhood experiences we develop various inner emotional responses in an effort to maintain our feelings of security, self- worth, power and freedom. These then grow in their own separate ways, manifesting as parts of our personality that have their own personal beliefs, logic and identity and power. We might call these roles personas, or sub-personalities. Throughout this discussion we will refer to them as personas. Each persona has it own core belief that creates and sustains its existence in our larger identity. This core belief will coincide with our need for security, pleasure, affirmation or freedom, or in a few special cases, other less common needs, such as the need to be useful, or to acquire self- knowledge or enlightenment. In some cases, our basic needs may be distorted and work in conflict with survival or growth, as for example, with the need to harm ourselves or others. In most cases, however, these personas are created by our needs to establish our safety, self- worth and freedom, usually through other persons or possessions. For a more detailed explanation of this process see The Psychology of Happiness. What We Can Do About Inner Conflicts 1. We first need to get to know and understand these various parts of ourselves by keeping a daily diary in which we refer to them by names that represent their particular qualities needs or emotions.

2. We can keep a separate page for each persona in which we list its particular needs,