Nothing can ever happen to me, which is not exactly what I need for my spiritual growth. This person is my teacher which life has placed before me. He is unhappy and afraid, or else he would not be acting in this way. Behind his angry and threatening appe

Robert Elias Najemy - 111 - Remove Pain – Physical and Emotional Possible positive beliefs a. I am safe and secure in every situation.

b. Nothing can ever happen to me, which is not exactly what I need for my spiritual growth.

c. This person is my teacher which life has placed before me.

d. He is unhappy and afraid, or else he would not be acting in this way.

e. Behind his angry and threatening appearance hides a fearful and hurt child.

f. Life gives me exactly what I need at every moment so that I can learn my next lesson in my

growth process. A possible I-message to an Intimidator “I need to discuss something with you. You know, there are times when I am afraid of you. When you raise your voice and threaten me, you stimulate old fears from my childhood years. When that happens, I back down from confrontation with you. I retreat suppressing my needs and sometimes my values. When this happens, I lose my self-respect and feel a sense of injustice and then I become angry with you. My heart closes and my love for you diminishes. There are even times when I think of revenge.” “ In the way that you act, you may get what you want from me at that moment, but you lose my love and respect.” “I have decided to try to overcome my fear and be more honest with you. I am going to try to express my needs and values even when you shout or intimidate me. I would like to ask for your help with this effort. I am very interested in helping you fulfill your needs. I believe that we can both get what we want together. I would like to ask you to express your needs without threatening me. Simply tell me what you need from me. I, in response, will also express my needs to you. I believe we can find solutions without my fearing you and retreating when you threaten me.” “How do you feel about this idea?” When dealing with Intimidators we will need to deal with the following in order to be free from their control but also love them.

1. Fear threatened 2. Self-doubt unworthy, guilt, shame