Robert Elias Najemy
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Remove Pain – Physical and Emotional
10. Were you ever aware of your parents or anyone else making love? Who and when? How
did you feel and what did you think?
11. Did your parents ever state that you were the only reason they continued staying together and
that that had been a big sacrifice on their part? Or, did they ever tell you they have sacrificed a
great deal for your sake, and that you are indebted to them? Who? When? About what
matters? What exactly do you owe them?
12. Did they ever accuse you of being the cause for their unhappiness or illness or problems?
Who accused you and about what exactly? What did they mean that it was your fault? What does
this fact mean to you? According to them what should you have done?
13. Did they ever tell you that you are not going to achieve anything in your life, that you are
lazy or incapable, or dumb? Who, when and concerning what matters?
14. Were you ever caught playing with your genitals alone or with others and did anyone
make you feel guilty for that? Who? When? What was their message?
15. Did they often speak about guilt and punishment from some person - parent, police
or God? Who? When? About what types of guilt and what types of punishment?
1 6 . Did any teacher ever make you feel humiliated in front of other children? When?
How? Concerning what?
17. In the company of other children, did you ever feel rejected or inferior? By whom, and
inferior by what criteria?
1 8 . Were you ever told that you were responsible for your siblings or for others in
general, and that whatever happens to them is your responsibility? Who told you this? About
whom? Concerning what matters were you responsible?
19. Were you ever made to understand in some way negatively or positively that, in order for
someone to be acceptable and lovable, one must:
a. Be better than the others? b. Be first at everything?
c. Be perfect, without faults? d. Be intelligent and clever?
e. Be handsome beautiful? f. Have perfect order and cleanliness at home?
g. Have great success in hisher love life? h. Have financial and social success?
i. Be accepted by everyone? j. Be active in many ways? Achieve many things?
k. Always satisfy the needs of others? l. Never say “no” to others?
m. Not express hisher needs?
20. Did anyone ever make you understand in some way that you are incapable of thinking,
making decisions or achieving things by yourself, and that you will always need to listen to advice
and depend on others? Who passed on this message to you? Which matters are you
supposedly “incapable” of making decisions about or handling properly?
21. Did you ever have role models parents, older siblings or others who were, or still are,
very dynamic and competent so that you felt: a. The need to be like them?
b. The need to prove your worth; to reach or even surpass these models?
c. Despair, self-rejection, abandonment of effort, perhaps self-destructive possibly subconscious
tendencies because you believed you could never measure up to them?
22. Has there ever been someone in your e n v i r o n m e n t
w i t h u n e x p e c t e d , u n p r e d i c t a b l e , n e r v o u s o r e v e n
schizophrenic behavior possibly an alcoholic or drug addict so that you might not know what
to expect from him or her? Has there been violence physical or psychological? By whom
and what was the behavior like?
23. Have you felt rejected or ashamed of one or both of your parents? Why?
24. Did you ever make the discovery that one of your parents has had an extra-marital affair?
When and under what circumstances? How did you feel about that?
25. Did they speak to you often about “God the punisher”?
26. Did you ever feel that they told you one thing but did another, that there was no
consistency between their words and actions, that they had a double standard, one for themselves
and another for the others, or that they were hypocrites, false and not true? Who and when?
Concerning what topics?
Robert Elias Najemy
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Remove Pain – Physical and Emotional
27. Upon what was your parents’ security based? a money?, b the opinion of others? c
education? d personal power? e the unity of the family? f property? g his or her spouse? h
other?
28. Were you a spoiled child that always had whatever you wanted and to whom no one ever
refused a favor? If so, what effect did that have on you?
29. Did they suppress your freedom of movement and expression? Did they force you to
do things you did not want to do? study, visits, dress. Did they forbid you to do things you
wanted to do? What were you forced to do or prevented from doing?
30. For Women Were you ever made to feel that since you are a girl: